Those of you who check my blog when I bother to update it know that I must be up in arms right now since - god forbid - I'm making two posts in two nights. However, I'm frustrated and sad and angry and have no idea how to deal with it other than to toss it all out onto the page in a jumbled mess and hope that it at least weighs on my mind less heavily.
Today Billy and I decided to run some errands at the local mall. No big deal, right? I needed a few more shirts for work and those of you who know me well are aware of what a pain it is for me, a 6'1" female, to find clothing that fits properly so this was actually a somewhat annoying trip to begin with. Unable to find what I was looking for, we decided to head home. Weaving our way through the mall, we came to a sort of roadblock. There was a woman pushing a stroller and, simultaneously, attempting to drag her toddler along with her. He was much more interested in the sticker he had just found and was trying to apply it to his shirt. At the same time, a few paces ahead, a group of about six teenage boys were fooling around, joking with each other, and one of them had been shoving his friend which blocked the pathway for both Billy and me and the woman and her child.
Hoping to get out of the way of the whole group, I muttered an, "Excuse me," and tried to scoot by two of the boys and outpace the woman with the stroller when one of the boys was nearly shoved into me. At that point, another one of the group said, "Careful, these McCain voters would like to get through."
(Did I mention these young men were black? I was concerned about even bringing it up since, by even recounting this incident, I run the risk of sounding racist. However, in this case, I suppose I have to mention it to provide context for the story. As an aside, the woman and her son were very white and she looked like she was afraid of the group of boys which didn't help our situation any.)
I whirled around, shocked, turned in the direction of the voice and firmly stated, "Excuse me, but I voted for Obama." I then proceeded to storm off, not really paying attention to whether or not Billy was behind me. When he caught up with me he said that one of the boys had pointed to the aforementioned speaker and said, "It was him, man." To which Billy replied, "I voted for Obama too," before coming after me. I was fuming and trying not to cry at the same time.
On the way home, Billy told me that the one kid looked kind of suprised that I talked back to him and his friends kind of stared at him like he was dumb for even saying anything so I suppose I feel a little better about that. I keep thinking about all the things I wanted to say instead. Like, "Apparently you're unaware that a comment like that will likely result in resistance since Bush currently has a mere 26% approval rating." Or, "How old are you? Can you even vote yet? No? Then don't tell me who I voted for." Or even, "Yeah, right. Did you even know who Barack Obama was three years ago? Well, I did. And I supported him then. Have you read his book? No? Well I have. Perhaps your time would be better spent doing that than harrassing people you don't know in a crappy suburban mall. And, quite honestly, just because you're black and I'm not doesn't mean you have any more of a claim to President-elect Obama than I do, especially since, as a uniter, he would frown upon your actions right now. So go get your shit together and then come talk to me."
I don't have a hell of a lot more to say except that I hope my tiny, pathetic, little retort made him think for a millisecond. And maybe that millisecond will turn into a whole minute and then an hour and then, just maybe, he'll do something productive with his time.
Well, I don't feel much better but at least I've gotten this off my chest.
2 comments:
That's a different spin on the whole race issue, isn't it? And after you spent all that energy at school trying to combat racism, another form of it hits you in the face. Sometimes people suck.
As if on cue, here's my horoscope for the day:
The warm glow of unconditional love may fill you today, giving you a new, kinder perspective on everyone around you. From this place of total acceptance, you may be able to see and appreciate the intrinsic value of others. This is a powerful balm for any negative feelings that can arise, because when we can see the beauty of other people, we can relate to them. We may then be able to put ourselves in their places, and not take their actions personally. This may mean that we forgive rather than get upset at those who speed by us on the highway; we can imagine that they are perhaps filled with urgent fear for a loved one and therefore forgive them for their driving. Or we may be able to understand that perhaps the impatient person in line may not be feeling well, or may have had a difficult day. Unconditional acceptance of others can lift our spirits today as we see everything through the eyes of love.
Unconditional love and acceptance helps us to rise above the mundane to see others and their interactions from a higher perspective. From that vantage point, we can see that we are all connected and share the same light. Accessing the deeper understanding that allows us to empathize with others, we send out waves of love and acceptance, knowing they are felt and making a difference in the energy that surrounds us all. Acting from a place of unconditional love today, we brighten our space and bring peace and joy to the world around us.
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