New Year's Resolution

So, today is my birthday. I'm 27. At first, I thought I would be depressed about that because it means that I'm one year closer to the dreaded thirty. It turns out that it's not that bad.

When I woke up today I came to the decision that I'm no longer going to treat January 1st as my new year. My new year is now going to begin on August 27th. It makes sense if you think about where I'm at in my life right now. The academic year begins not long after my birthday (next week) every year and I've always thought of starting school, or work in this case, as a marker for each year. It feels like I have the opportunity for renewal and self-improvement so I'm going to take advantage of it. I have difficulty following through with my New Year's resolutions every year so, maybe, if I shift my new year to my own, personal new year, I'll be more invested in the effort.

I spent much of the day with the intent of starting over. My resolution for this year is to live more in the present. I'm trying to let go of everything that I allow to weigh me down every day - anger, frustration, stress, worry, guilt - and a laundry list of other items that I tell myself are important but really just hold me back. I intend to have reasonable expectations for my own abilities in order to allow myself to achieve something each and every day rather than feeling guilty for not getting enough done. I plan on approaching problems as challenges rather than impossibilities. And, most importantly, I will appreciate myself for who I am and not focus on everything that I am not.

I decided to try and make all of this official with a little visualization this morning. Some of you may find this to be a little too much personal information for you so I recommend averting your eyes now. When I was getting ready in the shower this morning before heading out for a day of pampering courtesy of my friend Kristin (Kristy and Mike - you rock!) I attempted to imagine all of those things that stress me out and weigh me down being rinsed down the drain. Any guilt I felt for not finishing my thesis yet, any stress I had about beginning the new school year, worry about getting stuff ready in time for my students, anger that I hadn't been able to accomplish as much as I thought I should have, fear about financial worries or our future or the future of our country, everything, and more, I pictured running off of me and swirling down the drain. And I felt lighter. I feel lighter.

If it tells you anything about how much of that stuff I've been carrying around with me, the shower got clogged and I ended up standing in about three inches of water by the time I got out.

Coincidence? Maybe. But it worked fine yesterday. And the funny thing is that, when Billy took a shower later today, he didn't have a problem.

Then again, maybe I just desperately need a haircut. :)

Bad Poetry Day

Today is "Bad Poetry Day" so I've decided to write a bad poem. Billy's going to help me. Here we go...


Ode to the Great White Western New York Male

O middle-aged blubbery belly.

I see you glistening horrifically in the partly cloudy light of the Western New York Summer.

It is not that warm, yet you reveal yourself as soon as the weather becomes tolerable, much like the graceful, yet chubby, groundhog sneaks out of his den in fruitless search of his shadow.

I honk. Honk my horn in protest.

For the love of god and all of humanity, put your damn shirt back on you pale-ass freak. Isn't it dangerous to mow the lawn shirtless, anyway?

You white-flight albatross. You haunt me everywhere. My eyes have been sodomized.

Take your buddha belly inside. Please. I'm begging you.

I never thought I would look forward to winter. Thank you for that.

The Western New York Great White Whale
takes a break from doing yardwork to check his mail.
Perhaps his netflix order arrived.